Man Self-Identifies As ‘Northern Ireland Day Tripper’

A DONEGAL man has decided to take advantage of a ‘legal loophole’ which has seen gardaí unable to enforce lockdown restrictions on day trippers driving into the Republic from Northern Ireland by self-identifying as one.

“Oh so the ‘whoopsie daisy’ loophole in the law means it does not apply to those living outside Ireland’s legal jurisdiction? So they’re free to swan about all they like while we’re adhering to restrictions? Well tickle me pink, I guess I am henceforth to be referred to and treated by the law as ‘Northern Ireland Day Tripper’,” confirmed a very frustrated Donal O’Connell.

With the authorities’ hands tied behind their backs when it comes to visitors making the most of Donegal’s beautiful surroundings on gloriously sunny days, O’Connell expects to carve out some rare freedom for himself.

“Couldn’t give a fuck what the gardaí say, turns out the law is the law at the end of the day; when they stop me, I want to be treated as if I’m a walking talking yellow reg flooring it in from Derry,” explained O’Donnell.

Confusion reigns in regards to the apparent exemption, with authorities unsure if day trippers are free to cough on everything and lick door handles to their heart’s content.

“I’ll be popping off to Kerry to grab a pint of milk, Dublin for the tea bags, Cliffs of Moher for the daily exercise, I won’t be stopping in Roscommon though – I know it’s a lockdown during a pandemic but I’m not that desperate,” added O’Donnell, adjusting a sign on his car’s windscreen which read ‘sorry can’t stop, I’m from Northern Ireland’.

A Garda spokesperson immediately addressed O’Connell’s attempt to self-identify as a Northern Ireland Day Tripper in a bid to put an end to such twisting and bending of the rules, stating “Fuck. This guy’s good”.