“Actually, The Restrictions Don’t Apply To Me Because, Like, I’m Super Important”


AS part of WWN’s opinion series, we give a platform to those who don’t really deserve it. This week is the turn of 44-year-old driver of an expensive looking car Henrietta Doyle O’Brien, who, if you can believe it has been stopped by a power mad Garda checkpoint AGAIN.

“I mean, eh, hello, four-wheel drive and 191-D plates and I’m being interrogated by some bally-go-backwards Mr. Templemore Potato Head like I’m some sort of drug dealer?

Like, there must be some law against stopping a mother on her way to pick up her daughter from her boyfriend’s house 25 kilometres away for the 3rd time this week? Gardaí talking to me with an attitude you should only reserve for people with accents as rough as sandpaper.

And bloody right you are guard, you did stop me yesterday on the way back from the house of the Polish lady who does my nails, what did you expect me to do? Go around with manky nails and give into Magda when she begged me to stop bullying her into giving me her home address on the phone?

The restrictions these breakfast-roll-for-brains morons are talking about don’t apply to the likes of me, seriously. It’s laughable.

Get out there in your pretend police uniform with your stick and catch the real breakers of these restrictions, the scumbags in desperate looking heaps of junk, breaking the same restrictions as me only they’re scumbags so it actually counts.

I’ll go where I bloody want, when I want, like time I checked it’s a free country and I’m a taxpayer. I pay your wages. Little Mr. Power Mad.

Do you honestly think someone in a car like this is stupid enough to go out there spreading this yoke around? Honestly, this country’s gone to the dogs, and by the look of you guard the pigs too.

I will NOT take the keys out of the ignition! Oh, just you wait until my husband hears about this, our solicitor will have a field day with you. Do you have any idea who my husband is?”