“Are You Fucking Happy Now?” Airlines Ask Greta Thunberg

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CHIEFS of the world’s leading airlines have angrily lashed out at eco-crusading teenager Greta Thunberg over Covid-19, which has seen flights grounded worldwide and billions shaved off their stock value, WWN can report.

Although the world remains on grave alert about the fate of humanity over the coming few months, reports are coming through that fewer flights and less tourism has caused a substantial increase in the air quality in areas like China and Italy, which is in line with the arguments put forward by Thunberg at rallies around the globe.

Bosses stopped just shy of actually accusing the 17-year-old of releasing the Coronavirus to decimate travel around the globe, but they did stress that she’s “probably loving every minute of it”.

“I’ll bet she’s delighted now, sitting at home in her hemp dress, getting her emails by carrier pigeon” said one furious airline chief, while applying for a massive bailout from the government.

“This is just what she wanted; planes out of the sky. Well, congratulations Greta. You’ve ruined our lives now. If you’ll excuse us, we have to get to work. Some of us have customers who need to be told they’re not getting refunds anytime soon. Good day!”

Although sources close to Thunberg have denied that she is in fact happy about any aspect of the Coronavirus, some suggest that when she heard about the airlines she ‘very nearly smiled’.

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