McDonald Asks Party To Refrain From Shouting ‘Up The Ra’ For At Least A Week


BURYING her head in her hands, Sinn Féin leader Mary Lou McDonald can’t believe Waterford TD David Cullinane was shouting ‘Up The Ra’ 0.02 seconds after being elected and has asked all TDs to refrain from such things for at the very least, a full week.

“We can ‘Up the RA’ in private all we like. You know that, I know that, but Georgina O’Double Barrel Surname from D4-land thinks we’re going to sort out her high rent and that’s it. Jesus, she probably thinks a Republican is a Trump supporter so fucking cut it out,” an irate McDonald said, keen not to go full 24/7 United Ireland no matter the cost.

Some new Sinn Féin voters who had responded positively to the party’s campaign promises on non-Up the RA issues spent much of the last week in passionate debate with friends, family and coworkers, articulately explaining how bringing up Sinn Féin’s IRA past was ridiculous pearl clutching only for a number of newly elected TDs to openly celebrate it.

“And Dessie, cut out singing Come Out Ye Black and Tans, would ya? Some people are only one Google of you away from discovering you were arrested for making bombs,” McDonald added, now chiding TD Dessie Ellis.

“What was the one thing I said to you lot,” McDonald asked her TDs, who responded sheepishly in unison with “absolutely no RA-ing for at least a week”.

“Exactly. Wait until we form a government and everyone’s attention span expires. I hope you’re proud of yourselves now, there’s some lovely middle class people who voted for us and now they’re shitting themselves,” added McDonald.

However, McDonald’s ire seems misplaced as one Sinn Féin supporter pointed out that “the people of this country elected Sinn Féin exactly so its TDs would openly shout ‘Up the Ra’, and anyone who’s not on board with that is a property fund owning Blueshirt who wants to marry the RIC”.