“I Knew Too Much” Epstein Speaks Out From His South American Hideaway

FOLLOWING his official suicide at New York’s Metropolitan Correctional Center in 2019, American financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein looks back at his untimely death, pointing to the fact that he knew too much and was never going to get to see a courtroom, no matter how much he promised to shut his mouth.

“You could say I died from an overdose of information,” the now 71-year-old began, sipping a Long Island iced tea while staring out at the Nicaraguan beach he will now reside at for the remainder of his life, “I had a good run in fairness… I mean, yes, the whole sex offender conviction thing was a bad time for me as I had to serve a whopping 18-months under house arrest – in my own mansion –  for raping young women, but the rest of my life was pretty good, considering”.

Arriving at Nicaragua’s capital city Managua on Saturday morning on a private jet paid for by Isreali intelligence agency, Mossad, Epstein was quickly given a new identity by his handlers, but insists he will still miss his life as good old Jeffry Epstein.

“Yes, the world hated Jeffrey. But if only they knew the kinds of powerful friends he had – the people he catered for – they’d look at him a little differently,” he said, speaking in the third person while watching young local girls play in the surf.

“My only crime was facilitating the desires of wealthy, broken men. And now I have to live in this dump, like some kind of fall guy or patsy.”

“Bin Laden and his son are here too. Great lads, honestly. Wild on the drink. Big fans of the virgins,” he added, chuckling to himself as he tossed on his sandals and strolled toward the water for “a nice little swim.”