Leaked Letter Taoiseach Didn’t Write To Any Homeless Person


ON FOOT of the ‘highly embarrassing’ news Taoiseach Leo Varadkar sent a letter pleading to pop supremo Kylie Minogue asking she allow him to meet her before a 3 Arena concert comes evidence of another letter this time leaked to WWN.

The second letter uses the official letterhead of the office of An Taoiseach, is completely blank and was never intended to be sent to any of the 10,000 people currently homeless.

“We could of not sent this to even more homeless people, but we actually fudge the homeless numbers to keep them artificially low,” confirmed one government source, “plus they don’t have addresses”.

The Taoiseach’s team were clearly in crisis mode, aware of how damaging letters to Kylie Minogue could be to his reputation as someone who has not come remotely close to making progress on all recurring issues in Irish society.

“The Indo has 9 pieces on the Kylie letter today. The Journal is launching a 10-part podcast series on it. Her. ie is calling it totes cringe. Oh God, no! This one has a bunch of relatable gifs in it. We’re doomed, this could topple us,” an aide told the Taoiseach.

The Taoiseach then buried his head in his hands in celebration as he realised that this non-story would dominate the news cycle and attention spans, leaving no room for the health service, policing, housing, vulture funds and the fact a minority government continues to be defeated on its own bills while cynically voting down Opposition bills.

Here is the letter not sent to any homeless person in full below: