Quiz: Do You Have What It Takes To Replace John Delaney As FAI CEO?


CAN YOU match or even surpass the amazing contribution John Delaney has made to the past, present and future of Irish football at all age levels?

The FAI are on the hunt for a new CEO, take our quiz to find out if you have what it takes to be downgraded to Executive Vice President Of I’m Trying To Get A Job At UEFA in a decade’s time in a quiet and uncontroversial manner which attracts next to no bad press:

Q: Can you lend 6-figure sums to your employees on short notice?

Yes of course I’m a Nobel Peace Prize level sound bloke/ No, this doesn’t like a good idea.

Q: Can you run fast enough to avoid being pelted with tennis balls?

Yes, I love evading fans’ obvious ironic show of love for me / No, hang on I thought C.E.O stood for Craic, Buying Pints For The Fans?

Q: Does the League of Ireland actually exist?

No / No, get out of here with your mad flat Earth, moon landing, Thierry Henry handball conspiracy theories.

Q: Can you talk at length (we’re talking 16 hours uninterrupted here) about how you have a girlfriend and point out at every opportunity how attractive she is, so everyone says?

Yes, okay, so what. I have a very attractive companion lady woman girl, and everyone is envious of me / No, I have self esteem.

Q: Jobs?

Yes, for the boys and without term limits if they’re on a board / No, well only if they form part of a fiscally responsible and stable corporate structure.

Q: Are you morally against taking newspapers to court to prevent them for letting everyone know how sound you are about lending people a few bob*? *bob in this case is €100,000.

Yes, but also no / No, God, that sounds really not nice at all.

Q: Do you know anything about football?

Yes, I am actually Mr. Football / No, I am not ‘Mr.Football’.

Q: Do you have strong opinions about your rent being paid by your employers, say, ballpark figure, €3,000 a month?

Yes, strongly for that thanks / No, this wouldn’t sit well with me if people below me were being let go or having their pay frozen.

Mostly Yes answers? Congratulations, you are the future cornerstone of Ireland’s footballing greatness, we couldn’t have done it without you and congrats on the attractive woman lady girl woman partner! Bravo!

Mostly No answers? Fine, you obviously don’t like getting things done around here do you? Don’t let the door hit you on the way out because the FAI vastly overpaid for it, it cost €300,000 and we can’t risk it getting scratched. They might have to sell it soon.