Guinness Drinkers Advised To Install Carbon Monoxide Alarms In Toilets


THERE have been fresh calls for increased ventilation and adequate warning systems to be installed in the homes of Guinness fans, following another St. Patrick’s weekend fraught with gas-related near-misses.

In Waterford, a mother-of-six narrowly escaped asphyxiation after she tried to have a shower in her ensuite after her husband had used the toilet, while in Dublin a family of four had to be resuscitated after succumbing to their father’s farts while watching TV in the afternoon.

In both instances, a session on the Guinness had taken place the previous day.

To combat the alarming problem before it claims a life, stout-chugging families are advised to install and maintain CO2 alarms in bathrooms and under the duvets, and in any other enclosed areas such as cars and small apartments.

“There’s a huge increase in gasses in a dwelling area following a good hard charge of drink,” said one health and safety officer, inspecting the home of a Guinness drinker while wearing a hazmat suit.

“And these can range from smelly but kinda funny, to outright lethal… and by the time you can tell the difference, it could be too late. One minute you’re laughing because your boyfriend stinks, and the next minute you’re unconscious on the ground. An alarm could be the one thing that saves your life”.

Guinness have announced that they’ll be giving away a free alarm with special 24-pack cans of Draught Guinness, which may solve as many problems as it fixes.