How To Break It To Martin And Eimear That They’re Not A ‘Power Couple’

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ALL across Ireland, groups of friends are suffering needlessly through their acquaintance with insufferable couples who post their every move on Facebook and Instagram as if they’re some form of ‘power couple’. To this, we say suffer no more!

The phenomenon of the ‘Power Couple’ has grown in recent years, from genuinely powerful and successful celebrity pairings such as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, to whatever Love Island hook-ups that currently grace the covers of gaudy tabloid magazines.

However, the title most certainly does not refer to any couple living in the midlands in Ireland, any couple consisting of one GAA ‘star’ who just about gets his place on their U21 club team, and anyone who considers themselves a ‘social media influencer’ despite a noted lack of any influence whatsoever.

As such, you are within your rights to approach any of your friends who harbour a belief that they’re a ‘power couple’ and tell them in no uncertain terms to ‘give it a fucking rest, for the love of God’.

“If they attempt to mash their names together and refer to themselves as ‘Eimartin’ or some shit, that’s a hard no” said Dr. Philomena Cahir, relationship expert.

“Likewise if they attempt to make themselves the focal point of any occasion or gathering, as if it’s a red carpet movie premier and not, for example, their cousin’s 21st, again this is a no. It is clear that these people are doses, and you and your pals are 100% allowed to call them on it. if you don’t, I fucking will”.

On a similar not, should your friends break up and release a ‘statement’ on their Facebook announcing it, this too is cause to give them ‘a serious fucking off’.

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