Local Man Suspects Wife Of Sneaking Quorn Into His Dinner


THERE was something about the smug way in which his wife enquired if he’d ‘enjoyed his dinner’ that has made Waterford man Jim Keeling suspect that the dish may have been made with Quorn, or some other meat substitute.

Keeling, 34, did indeed enjoy the delicious spaghetti bolognese that awaited home when he got home from work today, but was pertrubed by the way his wife Cathleen watched him finish it before smirking and asking ‘enjoy that, did you?’

With Cathleen now leaning back in her chair and swirling a glass of red wine in her hand, Keeling is convinced that the dish was either vegetarian, or that his wife has just poisoned him.

“She has priors in this,” said Mr. Keeling, trying to remember if the meal tasted odd or if it was a weird texture.

“She’ll give the kids chicken nuggets and sausages, and watch them gobble them up before telling them they’ve just eaten Linda McCartney stuff. And she’s been known to make dinners using cheap ingredients from like Aldi or wherever, and not tell me until I’m finished. And always, always she has that smug look on her face after I’m finished, like… like she’s won something”.

Although Keeling is perturbed about the contents of his dinners, he isn’t so concerned as to make his own meals any time soon.