Brexit Really Eating Into Dáil Bar Time, State TDs


TDs have spent the majority of today locked in crunch debates regarding the government’s No-Deal Brexit Omnibus Bill, seriously ruining a day in the sunshine that would have gone down well with a few frosty pints from the Dáil bar.

Leinster House insiders have leaked that the looming possibility of the UK crashing out of the Eu with no deal has easily sextupled their workload, leading to hours upon hours of tedious work and almost no time kicking back with pints of stout and half-ones.

With rumblings from the EU Arab summit surrounding a postponement of Brexit or perhaps even a second referendum, politicians from both sides of the house have put it to the government that there’s ‘no rush’ in formulating a plan for Brexit, leaving plenty of time for a few sneaky pints before home.

“Look at the fucking size of this thing,” said one TD, leafing through the 15-chapter bill which contains contingency plans for everything from food to medicine to electricity.

“This is inhumane. You wouldn’t ask a mule to do as much work as we’re being asked to do here. We have to read this, then form an opinion on in based on our political mandate, and then argue those points, and then see them through the house. All of this, and we can smell pints from up the hall. It’s a disgrace. We should get fuckin’ Amnesty International on the case”.

In the interest of speeding things up, TDs have agreed that the Omnibus Bill ‘seems fine’, and have called it a day.