Trump’s Bone Spurs Finally Heal In Time For Vietnam Trip


PRESIDENT of the free world Donald Trump has defied medical experts by making a miraculous recovery from the bone spurs that cruelly robbed him of the chance to fight for his country in Vietnam over fifty years ago.

Arriving in Hanoi ahead of his historic meeting with North Korean premier Kim Jong Un, Trump took time to lead a triumphant ‘USA’ chant with staffers and reporters, in celebration of his arrival in the country where thousands of young men just like him lost their lives in the brutal Vietnam war, a war which Trump had begged doctors to let him fight in.

Although crippled by bone spurs in his heels, the then 22-year-old Trump campaigned tirelessly to join his fellow countrymen in their violent and hopeless campaign against the Vietcong, as recalled by the now-heroic President of the United States in a touching address to the awaiting crowd.

“Fifty years ago, I was denied my chance to fight for America in Vietnam; now, I’m finally here, and America is finally going to get the Vietnam victory it would have gotten if I’d landed here in a Huey in 1968 with an M16 like I wanted to” screamed Trump, who later today will enter complex nuclear disarmament talks with a rogue nation.

“The doctors my dad hired told me I’d never set foot on Vietnamese soil, and here I am, proving them wrong, just like I prove the fake news media wrong every day of my God damned life. God bless the USA, and God bless me, Donald Trump. Now let’s here it from the back; Don-ald, Don-ald, Don-ald”.

Trump is set for a mid-afternoon meeting with Kim Jong Un, who himself is no stranger to incredible victories in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds.