If That’s You With The Drone, Fuck Off


THE Dublin Airport Authority have issued a stern warning to the drone operator who caused severe delays for air travellers in the capital yesterday, stating in no uncertain terms that they will, quote, feed that fucking drone up his hole if he does it again, end quote.

Dublin Airport went into shutdown yesterday for an hour following the sighting of a drone over a runway, in scenes similar to the meltdown at Gatwick Airport over the Christmas period.

Fearing that drone operators in the area will see this as ‘gas’ or ‘a bit of craic’, the DAA were quick to inform would-be pranksters that they would ‘kick the living shit out of them’ when they catch up with them.

“If that was you with the drone yesterday, we have one message for you; run and fucking hide, asshole” said a spokesperson for the DAA anti-drone taskforce, scanning the tarmac with a the scope of a high-powered rifle.

“If it was up to us, we’d just land planes and let the 60 quid drone you got in Argos with your Christmas vouchers get sucked up into the engines- what’s the worst that could happen? But no, regulation says we shut the whole airport down whenever there’s a quadcopter in the sky. So sure, okay, if you want to piss around with your drone around the airport, work away. But pray we don’t find you, pal. Pray we don’t find you”.

Meanwhile Irish passengers reported having a ‘great time’ during the shutdown, as it allowed them extra time to get shitfaced in the airport bar on 9 euro pints.