Catholic Church Introduces Waria, The Evil Counterpart To Mary


At a religious congress in Rome, the Roman Catholic Church has introduced a new character: Waria, the evil counterpart of Mary. According to Cardinal Luis Ladaria Ferrer, prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, the new character is needed to keep the Holy Franchise fresh after more 2000 years entertaining avid fans.

Waria, unveiled on the official Vatican website and online store is mean, throws bombs and lives together with the Jewish plumber Wajoseph despite being unmarried.

“She loves sex before marriage, sex just for the expressed purpose of achieving orgasm and she has a box full of condoms by her bedside locker, she’s the real evil deal this Waria young one,” explains Cardinal Ladaria.

“Waria can be recognized by her yellow cloak and is she slightly thicker than Mary. She causes trouble to believers who are on their path to salvation, or want to fight with a dragon, for example. When Waria is defeated again she cries “Mamma mia!” loudly. That should remind believers that Mary is still the only real holy mother.”

According to official doctrine, Mary and Waria are sworn enemies but they do meet each other occasionally in friendly karting competitions.