Deli Worker Places Year’s Supply Of Butter On Customer’s Roll

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A LOCAL WATERFORD deli worker has placed a year’s supply of butter on a customer’s chicken fillet roll after he responded ‘just a small bit, not much like’ to her question of whether or not he wanted the spread on his chicken fillet roll, WWN can reveal.

Cathy Farley (23), working in the deli of a Tramore petrol station proceeded to place 6 kilos onto the roll which measure 5 inches in length despite repeat customer Gary Cleen’s clear instructions.

Careful not to keep the structural integrity of the roll intact, Farley used a knife the scrape roughly against the roll’s bread before returning the knife into the industrial sized vat of butter several times, returning with a bigger deposit of butter each time.

“What the fuck is she doing?” Cleen screamed to himself internally, a rage building in him that was so great, so profound that he just let the carnage unfold before him choosing to stay silent and resent Farley privately.

Piling clump of after clump of butter on the roll and satisfied she had carried out Cleen’s instructions to a tee, Farley then placed several bits of chicken on top of the ocean of butter.

Despite the increasingly common occurrence in Ireland of deli counter workers trying to back enough butter into rolls and sandwiches to give customers irreversibly high colesterol, authorities remain unable to act.

“There is a legislation in the works that would make lashing a mountain of butter the size of Carrauntoohil on when a customer only asked for a regular amount illegal, carrying a minimum 2 year prison sentence but things work slow in the Dáil,” a spokesperson for the Department of Justice told WWN.

Cleen paid for his roll in full without saying a word before going on to dump it in the bin after three bites of mostly butter.

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