WWN Guide To Buying Mad Shit From Chinese Websites


TIRED of paying high street prices for clothing that you can see and try on before you purchase it? Are you fed up with buying electronic equipment that has passed EU safety regulations? Do you just want a house full of mad shit? Then buying random low-quality crap from China may be right for you!

Following the startling revelations that customers can save lots of money by buying stuff directly from Chinese suppliers providing they’re willing to wait a month for it to be posted or that they won’t get upset if it never arrives, websites such as Joom, Ali Baba and Wish have begun to thrive, with thousands of customers and maybe a dozen happy ones.

Not sure how to get the most for your euro while shopping on some website you’ve never heard of? Here’s a few tips to get you started:

1) Use your best judgement

And when that fails, just guess. There’s no real guarantee that the clothing you buy online from a retailer that you’ve never heard of will look as good as the jacket Sharon at work got for just five euro, but at five euro, you’ll take a chance. Assume that the sizes listed online match with the sizes you’re used to buying, and just take a punt that the clothing will be at least wearable. If not, fuck it, it only cost you four euro plus shipping. Throw it in the bin. That’s what we have landfills for!

2) You might not want a drone, but they’re only 3 euro

You can see all manner of things on these websites, from clothes to drones. Actually, that’s about it. Clothes and drones. Sure go ahead, buy a drone. It’ll do someone for a birthday or something. Christmas is coming up. It’ll not go bad, it’s not a fucking orange.

3) Maybe don’t ask why everything is so cheap

Say what you want about high street prices, at least you can kid yourself that they’re so high because everyone along the chain is getting a fair price for their goods and services. It’s hard to imagine that the Chinese kid who sewed together that bra is seeing much of the 37c you just paid for it. But, if you can ignore your morals, you can make some serious savings, so it all works out! For you!