Being A Good Friend Is Smiling At Your Friend’s Wedding Even Though You Fucked The Groom


THE ULTIMATE barometer for what constitutes being as good a friend as is humanly possible has been established by the International Committee on Friendship with the experts in friendships declaring ‘smiling along during your friend’s wedding ceremony despite the fact you’ve slept with the groom, who is an absolute snake’.

“Looking on as your friend partakes in what is the happiest day in her life, and smiling along without divulging the fact you totally boned the groom. That is friendship,” an ICF spokesfriend explained.

“Attitudes about friendships have shifted over the decades, and while everyone is well aware generally being supportive of friends; caring for them, sharing positive experiences with them, is what friendship is all about, there is actually a higher echelon of friendship which is more demanding,” added the spokesfriend, alluding to the fact that if you’ve regretfully bumped uglies with your friend’s hubby-to-be and kept stum about it, that might just be the greatest gift.

While some people maintain that simply informing your friend of all the fucking of the groom you’ve done could be perceived as being a better friend, or indeed not sleeping with him in first place, that’s not always an option.

“Big woop, so your genitals high-fived with groom’s genitals. Your friend is halfway down the aisle and this isn’t a fucking Rom-Com or a film in which two friends fall out and then find each other again years later”.

“Oh my God, who wants to be given out and made feel terrible for something you should definitely feel bad for. Just say nothing, smile, and be like totally fine about it,” concluded the spokesfriend who is probably not working off her own very personal experience.