Amazon Purchases Guatemala To Use For Storage


INTERNET commerce giant Amazon Inc has acquired Guatemala, the now former Central American republic, with the purchase being fueled by Amazon’s need for storage space for the goods it sells as profits at the company continue to soar.

The Jeff Bezos owned company made an unsolicited bid for the country which was accepted by the country’s final ever president Jimmy Morales Cabrera earlier this week.

Citing the 108,889 km2 area of the country presenting a unique opportunity to store books, plug adaptors and 32 million other products Amazon sells, Bezos justified the $300 billion purchase of the republic to Amazon investors who approved it earlier this morning.

The $300 billion purchase will be divided between the inhabitants of Guatemala, who have been given one month to vacate their homes before Amazon bulldozers level the country and begin the first drone delivery departures for South and North America.

Reaction among the Guatemalan public has been mixed with many expressing a desire to not have their country disappear overnight, however, the roughly $17,000 each they will pocket from the sale set to ease the blow.

Amazon employees are believed to be excited at the prospect of a purpose built facility the size of a country in which they can receive no toilet breaks or worker’s rights in.

“It’s an ideal location, with just enough room for our needs. We’re looking forward to how this purchase can help grow and expand Amazon further before our next purchase of a large landmass,” Bezos excitedly told WWN.