Stormy Daniels Upgraded To Hurricaney Daniels

ADULT superstar Stormy Daniels is reportedly continuing to pick up strength as she travels through the upper levels of the American political system, with fears growing among the Trump administration that she may shortly be upgraded to Hurricaney Daniels.

Originally classified as Stormy in 2006 when she allegedly had a torrid affair with Donald Trump shortly after the birth of his youngest son, Daniels began to evolve into a much more dangerous storm during the 2016 elections, when she received $130,000 from Trump’s personal lawyer in exchange for staying quiet on the matter.

Furthermore, Daniels was moved up a number of places on the Saffir-Simpson scale of storm classification after revealing that an unnamed man approached her in 2011 and threatened her to stay quiet about Trump, who if connected to the president would create a hugely destructive event that could spell disaster for the White House.

“She’s gone from Breezy Daniels to Gusty Daniels to Stormy Daniels, it’s only a matter of time before she evolves into Tropical Stormy Daniels and then Hurricaney,” said one political meteorologist, while stocking up on popcorn.

“We’re talking about an F5 to the White House, massive destruction, dozens of casualties… the president has done what he can to prepare, bunkered in tight, bought as much help and advice and silence as he can… but no matter how much money or power you have, you can’t buy a sunny day. That’s just not how storms work”.

As Trump battles Stormy Daniels, reports are coming in of a lethal cold front coming in from his wife Melania.