Unaccompanied Learner Driver ‘Just Going Up The Road’

LOCAL learner driver Declan Kerrihan has stated that there’s no harm in him driving his car around without a fully-licensed driver as a passenger, as he’s ‘only going up the road’ and therefore immune from poor driving decisions and accidents.

Kerrihan, 21, frequently drives his 1.2l Clio around the roads of his native Lismore on his own, despite the legal requirement of all learner drivers to have a fully-licensed driver in their company at all times.

Given the trivial, ‘just there and back again’ nature of his journeys to and from his friends’ homes, to work every day, and into town at the weekend, Kerrihan falls into the category of ‘young drivers to whom the learner-driver law does not apply’, which coupled with his knowledge of where and when Garda checkpoints appear around the Waterford roads makes him 100% within his rights to drive wherever he wants.

“Learner drivers have, by their very definition, little to know experience of driving, and accident statistics for the year show that they’re at risk of causing injury and death when driving by themselves,” said a spokesperson for the Garda Excuses Department.

“But they certainly are very experienced when it comes to excuses and loopholes, which Mr. Kerrihan is using to his advantage now. Why, if he’s only going ‘up the road’, well, that’s grand. There’s almost zero chance of him having an accident when he’s only going up the road, and as such he doesn’t need someone more experienced in the car to tell him when he’s going too fast, or what to do when he experiences something he’s never encountered before. He’s grand. Tip away, young sir”.

Meanwhile, Kerrihan has amended his definition of ‘just up the road’ to include basically everywhere he drives to, as technically even Donegal is ‘just up the road’ from Waterford.