Local Woman Hasn’t The Energy To Deal With Your Bullshit Today


A LOCAL Dublin based woman has brought it to the attention of anyone with a frivolous query or request, along with those seeking to start inane conversations that she is not in a position to accommodate them today, as she hasn’t the energy for your bullshit.

Closing in on the end of yet another taxing working week, sales manager Paula Crowney’s energy reserves relating to dealing with people and their accompanying bullshit have been emptied and replaced with short, sharp and to the point exchanges which leave no one in any doubt whether or not she actually gives a shit.

“No, no, not today, g’wan, feck off,” Crowney said without lifting her head from where it was buried in an office file, with the 29-year-old mother of two not even bothering to look up and see the identity of whoever it was that was trying to bring some bullshit.

Fears had begun to grow for McCormick Sales Solutions receptionist Lorna Watkins, known for her sheepish and often irritating approach to work based queries, as she made her way towards Crowney’s desk.

“If the next thing out of your mouth isn’t going to be straight to the point, easy to understand and not at all stupid, then keep walking, Paula’s on a bullshit free diet today,” Crowney said moments before Lorna ran away in the other direction, taking her question about why the printer doesn’t have any white ink with her.

Crowney’s admitted in the past that normally she would smile and nod along to people, often humouring their requests, however, today is not that day.

Other victims of Crowney’s lack of appetite for bullshit today are believed to be the lad in the queue in Spar who tried to flirt with her, her boss who was trying to make her work late, a charity working trying to get her sign up to something, the car that cut her off in traffic, the gust of wind that messed up her hair, a Buzzfeed quiz about Disney Princesses, and the radio station she switched off once she heard they were about to have a local politician on for an interview.

Pressed for comment on her current outlook on life, Crowney told WWN “do I look like I’ve time for your bullshit?”