America Agrees To Let Celebrities Handle Things From Now On


HOLLYWOOD stars, TV personalities and chart-topping singers are to take care of politics in the United States from now on, following the trend-setting success of reality television superstar and current POTUS Donald Trump, and the continuing call for celebrities to ‘step up’ for the 2020 election season.

The decision was made following calls for Oprah Winfrey to run for president on a Democratic ticket in the next election, after the entertainment icon made an impassioned speech at last night’s Golden Globe awards where she picked up the Cecile B. DeMille lifetime achievement award.

Winfrey’s speech was agreed to be so moving, that it completely forgives the billionaire’s total lack of any political or military background, as such things were proven by Apprentice host Donald Trump to be ‘completely unnecessary’ to achieve the highest office in world politics.

Shaking off allegations that clinching the office of president is slowly turning into a popularity contest, the American public emphatically confirmed that they’re 100% behind Oprah, and not whoever it was they were behind last week.

“We were all screaming for Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson to run in 2020, but that just seems foolish now,” said one spectator, who is legally allowed to vote.

“No, instead we’re going to get behind the lady who gives away all the free cars and has a book club. She has everything needed to be the president, the commander-in-chief. Did you not hear her speech last night? I saw it on TMZ this morning, it was way more moving than any politician’s speech I’ve ever heard. Granted, I couldn’t name any politicians right now, but that’s because they’re never on the TV shows I watch. No, Oprah is our best bet for a Democratic president in 2020, unless someone else was to run like say, oh, I don’t know… Tom Hanks? Fuck yeah, that’s a great idea! Hanks 2020! I love that guy!”

The current climate of pushing celebrities as politicians is set to continue and grow over the next decade as YouTube stars enter the mix, with Republicans already planning ‘PewDiePie 2032’.