May & Varadkar Swap Dysfunctional Healthcare System Stories Over The Phone


DESPITE the recent months bringing a legion of disagreements over the Irish border, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar and Theresa May have finally found some common ground in the form of amusing anecdotes over how dysfunctional their country’s health systems have become on their watch, WWN can reveal.

With winter bringing a very precedented influx in patient numbers at A&E departments in both the UK and Ireland, the NHS and HSE have struggled to cope owing to similarly lacklustre support from their governments.

“Like, I want to privatise the fucker left, right and centre, but just letting it die a slow, car crash of a death will accelerate that process as the public get fed up and blame the concept of public healthcare,” chuckled May before Varadkar chimed in with “same here, lol” as both leaders exchanged giddy laughter.

“We keep saying ‘the HSE has the funding’, I know how much it drives people mad, that phrase, you do get some kick out of it, not listening to experts and that,” Varadkar remarked to the agreement of May this time.

However, amidst the hilarious stories about the suffering of the sick and the infirm, there was a tinge of sadness expressed by both leaders.

“They nearly have it under control, even though we’ve worked them to the bone for fuck all money,” May confirmed of the dedicated frontline staff, “that only means one thing; it’ll be another year until we’re overstretched like that”.

“Ah you poor thing, this is a weekly thing for us. I’ll send you pics on Whatsapp, it’s gas actually,” concluded a smug Taoiseach.