Fears Grow O’Leary May Be Planning ‘Red Wedding’ Style Event
RYANAIR pilots and staff have been put on high alert amid fears of a ‘Red Wedding’ style massacre, after successfully getting company CEO Michael O’Leary to recognise pilots’ rights to join a union after threatening severe strike action.
Pilots at the budget airline were set to strike on Wednesday, causing traffic chaos for thousands of customers attempting to travel home for Christmas, causing the usually ruthless O’Leary to perform an uncharacteristic back-down and agree to their demands.
However, pilots have been warned to be on their guard over the holidays and to approach any party or event planned by Mr. O’Leary with extreme caution, as the possibility of a Game Of Thrones style ambush is ‘very real’.
“If Ryanair management invites you to a party to celebrate you all being pals, then keep an ear out for the phrase ‘O’Leary sends his regards'” warned representatives of the pilot’s union at a debriefing meeting this morning.
“We understand that Michael is planning some sort of ‘no hard feelings’ party for everyone, and we really, strongly suggest that if you attend this party, you wear some sort of kevlar vest, and don’t drink anything that is poured out of a bottle you didn’t open yourself. If you think O’Leary is going to just let us walk off without his revenge, you’re highly mistaken”.
O’Leary was unavailable for comment, as he was hard at work building a throne from used scratch cards.