“You’re Welcome” Middle Class Tell Christmas Bonus Recipients

IN a rare nod to the unemployed population of Ireland, the Nation’s middle class took out front page adverts on all the national newspapers today to simply say “you’re welcome” to recipients of this year’s dole Christmas bonus, despite never actually receiving any thanks in the first place, WWN can confirm.

A sum of €220 million in Christmas bonus social welfare payments will be paid out this week to some 1.2 million people, made up of pensioners, people with disabilities, carers, lone parents, long-term unemployed people and various other recipients.

“It’s just a friendly reminder to let them know that we’re not in any way bitter about our hard earned taxes being used to pay for their bonuses and weekly welfare payments,” explained small business owner Gerry Hope, who is also head of the Middle Class Association of Ireland, “no really, we all get it up here, it’s fine if some entrepreneurs work 70 hours a week, creating jobs and struggle to meet their large tax bill every quarter. No animosity there at all. In my eyes, there’s no class divide”.

The small print belonging to the full page advert, under the headline “YOU’RE WELCOME” in bold capital letters, went on to address the upper classes and multinationals in Ireland, telling them “no you’re fine, we got this”, referring to the low tax bills many on the upper tier in modern day Irish society pay.

“Look, we don’t want the poor upper classes feeling in anyway obliged to contribute to society, they have enough on their plate and have obviously worked hard to get where they are,” added Hope, “the middle class will gladly take care of all the silly things like the health department, social housing, infrastructure, let them keep churning in that cash. I’m sure it will be put to good use, someday”.

The bonus – paid at the rate of 85pc of a person’s normal weekly payment – will be made to over 630,000 pensioners and 580,000 other social welfare recipients.

“Merry Christmas,” Hope concluded.