Kim Jong Un Attends First Meeting Of Pyongyang Weight Watchers
NORTH KOREAN insiders have revealed for the first time the true affect US President Donald Trump’s comments about Kim Jong Un’s weight have had on the rotund dictator, WWN can report.
“He’s barely eating his daily tub of ice cream, he just picks at it once he’s finished the first two litres of it,” explained one official speaking under the condition of anonymity.
Jong Un surprised his most trusted allies when he confided in them that he felt he should join a Weight Watchers class, however, his mind was changed when several hundred staff were called to his official residence to reassure him he was the greatest beauty the world had ever seen.
It is believed Jong Un was taken aback by the personal nature of the remarks from Trump, with the North Korean presuming personal attacks would be off the table as both he and Donald Trump edged closer to organising the nuclear annihilation of one another’s peoples.
“It’s one thing to say you want to kill everyone and destroy a country, but fat shaming, c’mon, that’s a low blow,” added a source.
“We thought he’d gotten over being called fat, but today he just organised this Weight Watchers meeting himself,” shared one source as he looked into a room of empty chairs surrounding the leader.
“He’s just sitting there with tears streaming down his face, we don’t have the heart to tell him that the reason he’s the only one in the meeting is that everyone else is dying of starvation. He has literally eaten the country’s entire supply of cheese. I am not saying this for comic effect, we have so little food that those 47 cheese strings he ate for breakfast were all we had left. Please someone help us,” added the source.
Jong Un asked for privacy as he stepped on the weighing scales at the meeting, however, loud squeals of delight could be heard coming from inside the room.
“We fixed the scales so they would max out at 9 and a half stones. Last time he weighed himself, he executed the guy who made the scales after it incorrectly broke under his weight,” concluded the source as he prepared to tell his leader how slim he looked during last night’s burger eating contest.