Guide To Checking Your Phone When Someone’s Talking To You

WE don’t know who you’re talking to right now, it could be a co-worker, it could be your spouse, it could be the cops. Whomever it is, we’re certain that there’s something much more interesting on your phone. There’s Facebook on your phone. There’s Tinder on your phone. There’s GIFS and memes and wondrous things on your phone, things that are way more important than whatever this other idiot is blathering on about.

Go on… check your phone. They’ll never notice. Here’s a few hints how:

1) Pretend to be checking the time

Take a glance at the time while you pretend to be listening, but rather than check the time, check your notifications to see if there’s anything good. Any mentions on Twitter, and matches on Tinder. You can keep this up for a while, if you just explain to the person that’s talking to you that you ‘need to be somewhere at 6’. They may find it odd that you check the time every 30 seconds, but they’ll let it slide.

2) Just stare at your phone

There’s a beauty in honesty. Just glare at your phone, scrolling away to your heart’s content. Tell the other person to keep talking, you’re listening. They can keep talking if they want, it’s their decision. They can accept that you’re picking up the gist of what they’re saying, and choose to continue or walk away. It’s not on you.

3) Text them

Now you’re (not) talking! Simply ask the person to stop talking to you, and message you on WhatsApp instead. This is the future of communication, why is everyone fighting it? Be the revolution!