Ploughing Match Struck By Flat Cap Shortage

THE Irish Farmers Association has issued an urgent appeal for new and used flat caps, bodywarmers, and welly boots, after the National Ploughing Championship was hit with one of the worst farmer’s clothing droughts in generations.

Analysts have confirmed that there are currently somewhere in the region of 300,000 people at the Tullamore event, including children, many of whom are without caps of any kind.

Capless culchies have been filmed taking turns wearing a single peaked cap, with reports that a green John Deere baseball cap was being shared by up to 20 people at a time.

The situation has lead to intense criticism of the organisers of Ireland’s largest agricultural festival, who failed to provide adequate hat facilities to cold-headed attendees, as well as shortages of many other items of farmer paraphernalia.

“We’ve got thousands of people down here without a single stalk of hay in their mouths,” said one angry plougher, furiously trying to get answers from ploughing match officials.

“There are people here walking around in shoes… shoes! Where’s the wellies for these people? Where’s the fleeces? We need hats and clothing for thousands of culchies, immediately. These poor bastards are going around with their heads wet and their feet cold. Unacceptable!’

If you have any caps, even if they don’t smell of the inside of a tractor, please drop them off at your local cap collection point.