Trump To Allow Current Transgender Military Personnel To Sweep For Landmines


FOLLOWING huge backlash over his decision to ban transgender people from the US military, President Donald Trump has rowed back on the ruling and has stated that any transgender people currently serving would be able to keep their jobs, but would be transferred immediately to tasks such as mine-sweeping and bomb-disposal.

Trump had declared a full ban on transgender people in the military yesterday via a series of tweets, as opposed to during a press conference or by a televised statement because according to White House staff, he saves those for ‘important matters’.

Cryptically stating that trans people were putting ‘tremendous medical costs’ on the military, Trump issued a total ban on them serving in any capacity, much to the anger of the LGBT community who stated that they were as entitled to die or get maimed for their country as the next person.

Amid the harsh criticism, Trump softened his stance and granted transgender people the right to stay in the military, as long as they didn’t mind being on the IED-hunting team.

“Trannies are more than welcome to serve their country by finding and disarming explosive devices so that our straight troops can operate safely in war zones,” said Trump, himself a highly-decorated veteran of several high profile wars, including his infamous Twitter war with London Mayor Sadiq Khan, “so, whether you’re a man with boobs or a woman with a beard, or however all this shit works, you can still be of valuable service to your country”.

Trump went on to cut the budget of all military mine sweeping divisions, which will force disposal officers to use bits of wood to poke around looking for mines.