Man With Fold-Up Bike Thinks He’s James Fucking Bond

DUBLIN man Martin Horahan has declared his fold-up commuter bicycle to be almost exactly what James Bond would travel on, if James Bond lived in a one-bedroom apartment in Clontarf and cycled four miles through heavy Dublin traffic to work each day.

Horahan, a grown man, cycles the tiny 8-speed bicycle to work every morning and back home every evening, but sometimes brings it on the DART if he’s running late.

Although he rarely gets up to the kind of speeds that real people cycling real bikes get to, Horahan feels that folding the bicycle into a neat package makes him akin to some sort of super-cool secret agent, using a fantastic prototype espionage bike that he was handed by Q branch.

“The names Horahan, Martin Horahan,” thought the junior accountant, while his fold-up bike took the shins off of his fellow DART commuters while heading into town on a rainy morning.

“ETA to Pearse Street is 15 minutes and counting… agent Horahan will deploy his secret mega foldy bicycle and cycle up the platform at Pearse station, and then carry it down the escalator and continue into traffic while wearing his helmet and tucking his trousers into his socks to avoid grease from the chain getting on them. Horahan out”.

Although his preference is to pretend that he’s a superspy while unfolding his tiny bike, Horahan has admitted that sometimes he likes to mix it up and pretend he’s riding on a Transformer.