COYBIG! Islamic Terrorist Has Links To Ireland!!
THE Irish media have taken to the streets in celebration after it was revealed that one of the terrorists involved in the deadly attack on London Bridge may have lived in Ireland for a while, making him an Irish terrorist and therefore ‘one of the best terrorists in the world’.
Terror attacker Rachid Redouane lived in Rathmines for a period of time in 2012, much to the delight of every journalist in Ireland who immediately took to their newspapers, online columns, and guest slots on the Six-One news to dissect in minute detail every move the 30-year-old made during his time in Ireland.
Despite having more than enough material to start writing up articles about how the country is probably ‘crawling with ISIS members’, the media still had time for a celebration before getting to work on a 24-page glossy pull-out called ‘COYISIS’.
“Yeeeeeow!!” cried one Irish Independent journalist, sitting on the bonnet of a moving car wearing a Shamrock Rovers top and draped in an ISIS banner.
“Come on you Islamic militants who live in Ireland for a few years before going on to commit atrocities in other cities! Whoo! That’s us sorted with headlines for three more years at least! Plus we can fearmonger, talk about ‘orange alerts’, just make shit up to suit any narrative we like… Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole!”
Meanwhile, The Irish Times property section has gotten in on the festivities as well, running a supplement entitled ‘These leafy Dublin suburbs would make the ideal place to plot your terror attack”.