Varadkar Rushed To Hospital After Suspected Contact With Member Of The Working Class


THERE IS SERIOUS concern for the skin of Fine Gael leader-in-waiting Leo Varadkar following a disturbing incident in Dublin City centre earlier this morning.

At a time when he and his team should have been basking in his magnificance ahead of his coronation as leader of Fine Gael, Minister for Social Protection and Photo Opportunities, Varadkar, is now receiving life saving treatment after inadvertently encountering a member of the working class and being forced to listen to their concerns.

While attending a media briefing with the press at which he handed out free Leo coffee, Leo cakes, Leo t-shirts, Leo badges, Leo pens and Leo made up statistics about welfare fraud, Varadkar was accosted by a working class person who eye witnesses said might have momentarily breathed the same air as him.

“It was horrifying,” explained TD Eoghan Murphy, who feared he wouldn’t be taken out for his walk by his owner, now Varadkar was aggressively washing all the traces of working class off his body in a special poor-decontamination unit at the Beacon Hospital.

“We knew it was serious when we asked the man, who had an…accent, what time he had gotten out of bed at and he said 12pm, I feel sick thinking about how I let Leo down,” Murphy added.

The almost-person at the centre of the unprovoked contact with Varadkar has been identified as security guard Michael Drumlin. Gardaí could not rule the possibility that at one time in his life, Drumlin may have been in receipt of some kind of social welfare payment.

Unreleased footage seen by WWN shows Drumlin interrupting Varadkar taking selfies to ask him a question about possible flaws in a number of his proposed policies. Members of Varadkar’s team attempted to step in front of the man as they covered their candidate’s ears so he wouldn’t be subjected to an interaction of any kind, but it is clearly too late as the former Minister for Health’s skin begins turning noticeably red and irritated looking.