Is It Time To Give Satan A Chance?


For millennia the vast majority of people have taken for granted Satan’s reputation as a hard partying pile of shite who lives for nothing other than the misery of others.

However, WWN’s Investigative Reporting Unit sought to examine the blanket stereotype applied to this figure and the team was shocked by what it discovered.

“He is the perfect embodiment of all that is evil, that decays the soul,” explained Fr. Fergal Farren, a Waterford based mass giver. Despite the authority with which Fr. Farren spoke, further questioning revealed he had never actually met the fallen angel.

“No, I’ve not met him myself, but I know a priest who was relocated to another parish who will be meeting him soon enough. We’ve lost touch though, so don’t think he’ll be telling me what he’s like,” Fr. Farren added.

The more frequently WWN sought out the opinion of experts in Satan, the more shocking their lack of knowledge was.

Priest after priest had never formally met Satan, but were willing to impugn his reputation despite the fact he was not there in person to defend himself against their claims.

In a puzzling move, some priests even suggested we consider giving God a chance, yet another man members of the clergy had never met.

Perhaps false rumour after false rumour fused together to allow an all too familiar pattern to reveal itself and spread far and wide. Satan, a figure unknown to us, becomes easily dismissed and is feared and discriminate against. Why? All because we’re happy for our ignorance to prejudge someone who could be innocent of all charges leveled against him.

WWN turned next to a Waterford woman who claims her daughter was possessed by Satan shortly after her 13th birthday.

“She’s turned into a right bitch, 24/7 screaming matches and of course I’m the bad guy,” explained Carmel Raggen, “and Sophie is just happy out, making my life a misery, acting like the devil.

However, teen Sophie explained how she has never felt better.

“I get loads of attention in school now, everyone is like ‘oh she’s the girl who is possessed by the devil’, so yeah my mam gets upset every now and again, but like it’s only a bit of Latin said backwards in a deep voice while I eat the head off a chicken, it’s not that big of a deal,” a happy sounding Sophie shared.

Who can say for certain that Satan is a ‘bad guy’? WWN’s exhaustive research suggests the field of Satanology has a long way to go before a definitive answer to that question is reached.