Bowl Of Shamrock Wilts & Dies Moments After Touching Donald Trump’s Hands


THE TRADITIONAL meeting between the Irish Taoiseach and US President, which takes place in and around St. Patrick’s Day has taken a worrying turn this morning, WWN can exclusively reveal.

Taoiseach Enda Kenny has spent the week in the US banging the drum for Irish businesses, the undocumented Irish in the US and defending the EU, but the day before St. Patrick’s Day has long been considered to be the most important day during his trip as he would meet US President Donald Trump.

Handing over the traditional bowl of shamrocks, a symbolic gift that speaks to the strong and prosperous relationship between the two countries, Kenny was horrified to witness the shamrocks immediately wilt and die once the bowl made contact with Trump’s small hands.

“No, everything is fine, this isn’t a bad sign or a harbinger of doom. Ireland still loves you Donald. Say and do what you want, it doesn’t matter to us, we’ll still lick arse with the best of them,” a panicked Kenny shared with Trump as the media’s cameras flashed intensely.

“D’ya remember when I said you were racist. That was gas. But, Jesus, if you don’t remember then I never said it, okay?” Kenny added while sweating profusely.

While no experts have yet come forward to explain why shamrock would suddenly wilt once placed into someone’s hands, the public was invited to draw their own conclusions.

“No, here look, we’ve another bowl. Oh God, oh God, oh God,” the Taoiseach added while handing over a fresh bowl of shamrocks to Trump which immediately wilted and died.

It is believed Trump then delivered some empty remarks that were void of any trace of genuine human sentiment which focused on how great the Irish people are and how beautiful their country is.

A spokesperson denied making sure they got the smallest bowl possible for the shamrocks, in an effort to make Trump feel like he had giant hands.