Trump Executes 12 Journalists In Show Of Force


THE lifeless corpses of 12 White House press correspondents were flung from the boot of a blacked out SUV at the break of dawn just metres away from the Washington Mall, and represent a clear statement of intent from the Trump administration WWN can report.

The bodies a reminder, as if one was needed, of President Trump’s first Facebook Live video as the 45th president of the United States which took place late last night.

“Lies. They are just sleeping,” President Trump said in a follow up tweet, utilising his superior grasp of alternative facts.

Bitterly disappointed and angered by the media’s continued obsession with facts, the president ordered the execution of 12 journalists after they insisted on reporting on things of importance.

“I can’t believe it, did you see it? I talked about winning, how we were going to do so much winning and all the media could talk about was all the lying to the American people we were doing. Unbelievable, these people,” President Trump shared in his Facebook address, which would last for a total of 178 rambling minutes.

Discussing a wide range of issues concerning Americans, President Trump spoke about the media being mean to him, not giving him enough praise, not telling him he was ‘the best, really the best’ and refusing to acknowledge his inauguration speech as the greatest achievement in the history of humanity.

The executed journalists have yet to be identified, but it is feared press secretary for Trump, Sean Spicer, will seek further murders if the executions are reported on without any mention of how 1.4 billion people attended the presidential inauguration on Friday.