Trump Refuses To Leave Room After Hearing He Can’t Launch Nuclear Weapon At Inauguration


“GO AWAY, go away, no, I’m not listening, go away”

THE words of president-elect Donald Trump as he locked himself in his Trump Tower penthouse apartment bedroom this morning.

Reacting with customary petulance, the soon-to-be president of the United States threw himself with all his might into a tantrum of epic proportions after being informed by military advisors that he would unlikely be allowed launch a nuclear weapon from Washington on the night of his January 20th inauguration.

Trump had initially rushed to his bedroom in a fit of rage after overhearing several senior adults in his transition team talk about him ‘like I wasn’t even there’.

“There’s no talking to him,” a listless military general stated as he leaned against Trump’s gold-plated bedroom door.

“La, la, la, la, la, I can’t hear you,” Trump continued, presumably with his hands held against his ears. Noting the severity of the tantrum and more accustomed to dealing with them, Melania Trump intervened, pleading with the irate man child.

“Honey, what if they let you launch smaller missile that still makes big bang?” the future first lady ventured.

It is believed that Trump exploded into a fit of tears at this point while stating “but all my friends are going to be there and I already told them I was going to use a nuke, this isn’t fair”.

It is unclear if Trump will come out of his room any time soon as he runs the risk of being unable to follow up on his claims that he will have ‘the best, just the best inauguration. We’ll have all the best people, and we’ll launch a nuke at Iran or someone’.