Vatican Release New Relocatr App Which Helps Relocate Troublesome Priests


CELEBRATING their new suite of interactive and terribly modern apps, the Vatican has followed up the release of Sindr, an app designed to help people find their nearest confession booth, with an equally twee and hilarious addition to your phone’s home screen.

Relocatr, another Catholic Church innovation, is an app which maps out all the churches which house troublesome priests who have acted inappropriately in some way and tries to match them with another church that is willing to take the priest in, in an effort to sweep it all under the carpet.

“That Sindr app is hilarious, that’s so Father Ted like. Gas, you couldn’t make it up,” remarked cultural Catholic and sort-of-believer in God, Gary O’Neill, “but yeah Relocatr is kind of sick actually and sad thing is it’ll probably be the more popular app of the two”.

O’Neill’s observation has proven to be true as the number of downloads of Relocatr has shocked even the Vatican itself.

“Shit, we sort of thought we’d already relocated all the dodgy ones,” shared priest and software developer Fr. Rodrigo Tommassi.

However, Fr. Tommassi stated this is just the first of many innovations in store for the Church in the coming years.

“The more we embrace modern technology the more people find it amusing and endearing, which lessons people’s anger at us for you know, that stuff. We’ve accidentally stumbled on a great PR strategy,” Fr. Tommassi concluded.

Relocatr is available on iOS and Android phones.