Experts Calculate Exact Amount Of Drink You Need To Get Through The Christmas

NUMBER-crunching drink researchers have issued an intrinsic guide to alcohol consumption ahead of the festive season, with pointers as to how much everyone should drink over the month of December, regardless of age, gender, or tolerance for alcohol.

Staff at the Irish Intake Institute (III) calculated the average amount of drink drank in December across Ireland, then added a few extra units ‘because it’s Christmas’.

Other factors such as the cheap price and ready availability of alcohol during the Christmas season were factored into the occasion, as well as the ‘ah sure you’ll have one’ culture of visiting people throughout the holidays.

“We’re talking at least one slab of cans per week, not counting your pints on a night out,” said Dr. Liam Ledgwick, spokesperson for the III.

“You can get slabs for under 30 quid in most supermarkets, so that prompts most people to buy more beer than milk throughout December. And of course, there’s no sense in looking at it; you have to drink it. So you’ll have a can with your dinner, five cans while watching Home Alone, share a can or 6 with whoever drops by… after that, spirits are at your discretion”.

The figures generated are aimed for people with a decent tolerance for alcohol, meaning lightweights may feel much more drunk when keeping up.

“That’s their problem, isn’t it?”, remarked Ledgwick.