Facebook Now A Fucking Car Boot Sale Or Something

NOT content with being the most powerful and successful social media platform in the world, Facebook has implemented a series of updates that allows users to hawk whatever old shite they have lying around their house.

Dubbed ‘Marketplace’, the new buy and sell option showed up as an app on the sidebar of Facebook after years of nobody asking for it in the slightest.

In keeping with all new Facebook updates such as ‘live video’ and ‘events’, thousands of users quickly began to fill their friends’ newsfeeds and notifications with irrelevant and annoying posts about how they bought concert tickets and are only selling them because they’ve got a ’30th birthday to go to on the same night’, or how their ’07 Opel Corsa has no NCT but it’s bound to pass’.

“The minute we stop adding new features to Facebook, we’re out of a job,” said James Dunne, manager of the Facebook’s ‘new features’ department.

So we’ll throw in something like this every six months; just some random thing that has nothing to do with what Facebook used to be. Forget keeping in touch with old friends, making new acquaintances, sharing photos… now it’s all about how much you can get for a Kenwood food processor that you got last year but only used once”.