Nationwide Appeal Made To Little Shits To Stop Acting The Maggot


A NATIONWIDE appeal, led by fed up parents, has been launched which is pleading with children to ‘cut the shit’ and refrain from acting the maggot as the midterm draws to a close.

Maggotry, to give it its technical name, can involve children doing anything from refusing to eat their vegetables to burning down their own homes as part of a bog-standard temper tantrum.

“I’d use stronger language than maggot, but then my eldest would repeat it round the clock like the little bollocks he is,” explained exhausted father Peter Varley, who looked fairly stressed out if we’re being honest.

While not citing specific maggot-based behaviour, parents presumed anyone who has seen a child out and misbehave in public would get the picture.

“I don’t think it’s too much to ask, I’m running on 2 hours sleep for the last 11 years, just a slight reduction in the levels of outright dickheadedness from my two boys would be much appreciated,” shared mother of two Shona Laffin, “the midterm has been a testing time,” added Laffin, who was so fed up with the playacting that she’s convinced the midterm is actually 47 weeks long.

The campaign has received the support of Gardaí, who earlier this year began a crackdown on children who failed to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.

It is believed children were unavailable to comment as they were either scrawling on the walls with crayon or swiping a naggin from the drinks cabinet.