Scientists Confirm Discovery Of Most Irish Thing Ever


A GROUP of scientists in Trinity College Dublin have made what has been described as the most significant discovery in the history of Irish science.

“Before our research, there was no metric by which one could measure a unit of Irishness, or what indeed was the most ‘Irish thing ever’,” Dr. Eamon Shields explained to WWN.

“Our passion for this subject was awakened only recently as we saw a number of Irish media outlets struggled hugely with pinning down what was the thing, image, place or occurrence that was the most Irish ever in its properties. They were in clear need of help,” added Dr. Helen Gilly.

The team at TCD dismissed talk of a Nobel prize however, the importance of their discovery can not be overestimated as the Irish public can finally learn what the most Irish thing ever is.

“We can finally draw this chapter of ignorance to a close as we truly know now, conclusively what the most Irish thing ever is,” Dr. Shields said as he pointed to a midget dressed as a leprechaun eating a Tayto sandwich while leaving the immersion on. The Dubliner, who had previously been pictured at a sporting event in America wearing a Mayo jersey, as well as playing minor hurling for Kilkenny, is believed to be related to Gay Byrne, was an extra in Michael Collins, jumped up on stage once at a U2 gig and chooses Barrys over Lyons while surprising his mam after coming home from Australia. He has also been an escort at the Rose of Tralee and was conceived in the Phoenix Park directly after Pope John Paul II said mass.

Sadly as a result of this discovery, some 14,000 jobs have been lost in the Irish publishing industry as the search for the most Irish thing ever is officially over.