Human Race To Sue God For Sciatic Nerve Design Flaw


LAWYERS for the human race have today started legal proceedings against God, the alleged creator of man over a series of design flaws in the human body.

America’s biggest law firm, Latham & Watkins, are expected to sue God the almighty through the Vatican for a staggering 23 trillion euros, one of the biggest compensation claims ever undertaken.

“Like an architect responsible for a building design,  God needs to answer up for all of his mistakes when he created humans,” stated William Vogue, Chairman and Managing Partner at the firm, “His malpractice has left billions of people suffering”.

Not only will Latham & Watkins sue God for his poor location of the sciatic nerve, but also a list of other problems, including:

  • The Close Proximity of our Genitals to our Rectum
  • The Extremely Narrow Human Birth Canal
  • Achy Knees
  • The “Blind Spot” in Our Eyes
  • A Single Set of Adult Teeth
  • Our fondness for sweet, salty, and fatty foods
  • Donald Trump

“We aim to tackle the sciatic issue first, before tackling the other issue’s separately,” Vogue added, “God could be looking at 150 trillion dollar settlement when we’re done with him”.

It is understood that Pope Francis and a team of Vatican lawyers are to attend a preliminary hearing in January 2017, in a bid to reach some kind of out-of-court agreement, but due to the high compensation being sought, the trial is assumed to go ahead.

To begin, Latham & Watkins are to first sue God for locating the sciatic nerve directly beside spinal discs, causing excruciating pain for victims when a disc bulges or herniates.

“You know what, fuck this guy, we’re going to sue him for those crappy weak discs too,” Vogue concluded.

God was unavailable for comment.

If you suffer from chronic sciatic pain, please view the video below for some Sciatic Stretches & Exercises

HEALTH: Sciatic Stretches & ExercisesHEALTH: Sciatic Exercises & Stretches

Posted by Waterford Whispers News on Tuesday, 26 April 2016