Gang Buys 5000 Acres Of Dublin Mountain Land For No Particular Reason


A PROMINENT Dublin drug gang has stated that it has no real plans for the 5,000 acres of land in the Dublin mountains that it scooped up in a NAMA sale this week, adding that they’d “probably just see what the future brings”.

The fearsome Drury-Morrison gang, operating out of every corner of Dublin, made headlines when they outbid the government for the Glenasmole Valley land, which went to auction at a mere €500 per acre.

Believing to have had a handshake deal to buy the land for €1m, the government were flabbergasted when a bidder for the Drury-Morrison cartel put in a bid of €1,000,001. Outbidding this would have sunk the government into arrears for the rest of the year, and thus the Drury-Morrisons now have a place to just go for hikes or camping trips or whatever.

“We love it up in that area, we try and get up at least once a week,” said Jimmy ‘The Texas Rattlesnake’ Drury, head of the clan.

“So it’s great to finally own a large portion of it, which has ample space for us to bring people up and just chill out, you know, just hang around with them. Maybe some people will enjoy it up there so much, we’ll leave them there? Either way, it was great to get it out of NAMA’s hands. Bunch of crooks, that lot”.

The Drury-Morrisons are said to be interested in making further purchases from NAMA, including a 4km stretch of the Royal Canal.