Everyone A Horse Racing Expert All Of A Sudden


IRELAND is currently being examined by the World Health Organisation (WHO), after every single man, woman and child in the country woke up this morning and began claiming to know everything about horse racing.

The phenomenon coincided with the annual Cheltenham horse-racing festival, and has seen people who have never watched a race in their lives suddenly become expert tipsters.

Offices, schools and churches around the country have become hotbeds of discussion about who is a “dead-cert” in the next race, with little or no actual work taking place anywhere.

WHO officials have voiced some concerns about the bizarre occurrence, but have made assurances to the public that the effects will be short lived.

“We expect this strange mental breakdown to be finished with by this time next week,” said Dr. Paveel McGuinness, head of Strange Shit at the WHO.

“We have seen this a couple of times in the past, and around the Grand National, but this is the worst bout of it to have ever happened. You’ve got 47-year-old housewives offering tips on the 2:30 to their mates on Facebook. We’ve even seen people who don’t know what a horse is, trying to explain their ‘system’ for winners. Everyone seems to think they know how to beat the bookies, but it’ll all wear off as their horses fall at the first hurdle”.

Dr. McGuinness went on to add that if anyone did in fact have any good tips for the Gold Cup, to send them to him directly.