Tragic Housewife Overdoses On E!


PRAYERS were being said last night for a tragic wife-of-one who was found unresponsive in her home yesterday, after an apparent overdose of E!

Sheila Hanratty, from Balbriggan was rushed to Drogheda hospital after her husband Ian returned from work to find her slumped in an armchair. Ian promptly rang the emergency services, as his wife struggled to regain consciousness.

It is believed that Sheila, 33, had spent the entire day watching nothing but E!, causing severe loss of motor function and extensive brain damage. Doctors at Drogheda hospital describe the woman as being in a “serious, but stable condition”.

“The human body just isn’t capable of coping with nearly 8 straight hours of Kardashian-based programming,” said Dr. Mahatma O’Neill, chief of staff at the Drogheda neuroscience institute.

“Mrs. Hanratty is lucky to be alive, although she is a long way from recovery. Sometimes the Kardashian shows are cut with dangerous doses of Giuliana & Bill and Total Divas, which only worsens the effects of an E! binge leading to tragic situations like the one we have now”.

In a tearful statement, Sheila’s husband Ian pleaded with other women to consider the consequences of E! before trying it.

“It may seem cool and popular, but please think of your families before you get mixed up in it,” he sobbed.

“You don’t have to watch as much as my wife did to get hurt; even a single show can turn your brain into mush”.