Molly Malone Statue Forced To Emigrate



The latest victim of the post-Celtic Tiger sting in the tail is sadly one of Ireland’s most beloved landmarks and hearty slappers, sweet Molly Malone.

“This is indicative of the kind of damage the government’s current jobs policy results in,” shared a politician whose name we didn’t bother writing down.

While the fishmonger profession, along with countless other disciplines, has seen its potential revenue streams shrink in recent years, it was thought Dublin’s most famous and revered fish monger/prostitute specialist would not fall foul of these challenging times.

“She is as popular as ever and we’re ensuring she is respected and given a suitable short term location,” shared Frank Fenlon, a worker on the Luas extension project.

Although the busty bronze statue was incapable of comment it is believed she is devastated at having to traverse the well trodden path of her fellow Irish men and women by taking a trip to far away fields in search of employment.

“Yeah, we’re just moving the 54 yards up the road there,” added Mr. Fenlon.

In emotional scenes Molly bade farewell to her home at the bottom of Grafton Street before making the long unfamiliar journey to Suffolk Street with knowledge that she may never see her home again. Eyewitness accounts claim she was so distraught her face bore a soulless expression.

“Molly will be back in June sometime and she’ll have been cleaned up and polished, restored to her former glory,” explained Mr. Fenlon.

Molly Malone’s recent experience echoes the unfortunate experiences so many Irish men and women endure. No sign of promise, no sign of hope, nothing ‘sweet’ about it at all.

“Yeah, that’s right the Luas link-up will have created about 800 jobs throughout the course of its construction and increase passenger journeys by 8 million journeys. A real boost to commerce, employment and opportunity in the city,” added Mr. Fenlon.

A sad day indeed.