REPLICATING a formula used by 98% of current Irish ads, a local insurance company has unveiled a TV advertisement which pulls at the heart strings but in no way changes their status as a pack of pricks just looking to make a quick buck at the expense of the public.
Set to stirring music with a voiceover that strays into ‘shit poetry composed by a Junior Cert student’ territory, the People’s Insurance Company reaffirmed its ‘core company values’ to customers over 45 nauseating seconds which fooled absolutely no one.
Evoking important milestones in the average person’s life which insurance companies actually play no part in, the narrator of the ad spoke a stirring message for all to hear.
“PIC have always been here for you and as long as you need protection we’ll continue to cover you,” said the ad belonging to a company which is probably lobbying government to reduce insurance payout levels so they can increase their profits from ‘in the millions and millions’ to ‘in the billions’.
“Each golden dawning smile of your newborn child is backed by us,” added the advert now showing footage of the moon landing, Stonewall riots, Civil Rights marches in Northern Ireland, Christy Ring and Martin Luther King Jr for some reason.
The advert easily conveys a warmth and emotion that PIC, along with every other major financial services company, is famously not famous for.
The advert sadly made no mention of the raids on Irish insurance companies was as part of the European Commission’s investigation into ‘suspected anti-competitive practices’ in the industry.