New Gardaí Anti-Corruption Unit To Be Run By Superintendent Hastings

GARDA COMMISSIONER Drew Harris has announced Superintendent Ted Hastings as the head of the newly announced anti-corruption unit being established in An Garda Síochána to investigate members of the force.

An outside hire, Hastings previously headed up the highly regarded AC-12 unit of London’s Metropolitan Police Force which has rooted out corruption at the highest levels time and time again.

Speaking to reporters at the launch of the new Garda unit which will investigate complaints and seek out corruption, Hastings revealed he has been reinvigorated by the new challenge in Ireland.

“Let me tell you one thing fella, I eat bent coppers for breakfast and right now I’m hungrier than a wee starved cat wandering the streets of Belfast,” Hastings told WWN, in an extremely stern manner, delivering his words like a father telling their child that he’s not angry, just disappointed.

Questions remain over the new unit which will be operational by the end of the year as there is the potential for internecine clashes with GSOC and the Department of Justice, conflict seeming like it could be ripped straight from the pages of the script of a compelling and popular BBC drama.

“My prime area of concern is identifying bent coppers if you have them here, back in London we were sniffing out a lad called H but from what I’ve been told you lot have an A, B, C, D, E, F… look you get the picture. Now off with ya and stop wasting my time you jaunty wee bastard,” concluded Hastings.