Local Man Always Looks Fucking Knackered

ACCORDING to reports emanating from the Galway area of Ireland, one local man always look completely and uttered knackered WWN has learned.

Without fail and without exception, Gerard Kinsella, an IT specialist from Salthill always looks on the verge of some sort of epic breakdown brought on by exhaustion despite the fact that he is usually well rested and fed, and leads an active enough life.

“I see him most mornings when I’m leaving my house for work, the hack of him, he looks fucking knackered altogether. Like he’s been up all night partying with 50 prostitutes and a year’s supply of cocaine,” confirmed Kinsella’s neighbour, Maura Brilley, who isn’t one to judge.

Speaking exclusively to WWN about looking variants of knackered, wrecked, in a heap or all out bolloxed, Kinsella admitted his frustration.

“I could live like a monk, not touching drink, fast food, nothing. Getting 8 hours kip a night and hit the gym 4 times a week and I’ll still look like an insomniac that was repeatedly dragged through a hedge backwards while being slapped in the face with a wet fish,” Kinsella explained.

“I get the odd dirty look from people in the office but it’s not my fault I’m a pale, anemic looking runt who looks like he’s permanently hungover. It’s a real condition like,” Kinsella added as we yawned just looking at his sleep deprived facade, bags under his eyes bigger than most small cities.