NOW that the Nation has voted ever so marginally to repeal the Blasphemy Law, the public is now free to go hell for leather swearing and blaspheming to their hearts’ content.
For those struggling with the concept of swearing blindly and taking various Lords names in vain, WWN has a handy list of 7 things you can get away with saying now that pesky law as been repealed.
1) Jesus Christ!
You can say this when vocalising your shock and surprise at something without fear of the guards being called. Go on, give it a try, that prick Jesus can’t harm you now!
2) This religion thing is a load of shite
Steady on, but yeah you can say that too.
3) I bet Jesus hated going to mass too.
Blasphemous, yes. Punishable by law, no.
4) He definitely pulled his lad.
It’s reasonable to suggest that an adult, had indeed masturbated at some point in his life, yes.
5) The tits on Buddha!
Well, do you mean the female iteration of Buddha – as in ‘she’s got a fine pair’? Cus that’s sexism, you can’t be saying that. Or do you mean the tits on the great big fat incarnation of Buddha, ‘cus that’s fat shaming and that sort of stuff is off the cards too.
6) That Poseidon fella is a right cunt!
Ah the Greek gods. It’s good to spread your ire around, now that you’re free to question religions and religious dogma. Why Poseidon, God of the Sea, is a cunt, is for another day.
7) Allah can suck my…
Woah. Fuck sake like. Yeah, strictly, you’re protected by the fact we’ve repealed an archaic law but Jesus fucking Christ, let’s not get you killed here, pal.